I have explained that the Tales aren’t 100% true, haven’t I?

Even the most factual are based on my faulty memory, and they all require some dramatization. And some draw heavily on my imagination. But I’m not saying which are which… and seriously: you might be surprised.

They say that sex in zero gravity* wouldn’t be** all that it’s cracked up to be. Even though gravity can be a pain in the ass (so to speak) during sex, it’s a really handy tool for the kinds of back-and-forth motions that most of us get off on… it’s the pull to go along with the push. Also, without gravity to hold the top in place on the bottom, we’d tend to drift apart… which is bad enough in a relationship, but really spoils sex. Of course this assumes that you don’t have six prehensile tentacles to help cling to your partner.

By the way, the dialog for the alien in this story is not gibberish. It’s just displayed in a font that doesn’t look like the regular alphabet. :)

* Or in freefall, which is what people in an orbiting spacecraft experience. Common misunderstanding.

** Roscosmos, NASA, ESA, and CNSA all insist that no one has done it yet.