There’s a scene in one of the early episodes of “Two and a Half Men”* where the kid asks his father and uncle about erectile dysfunction pills, wondering if they’re for getting boners or making them go away. When he hears the answer, he dismisses them as worthless.

One’s perspective does change, eh?

It may be something of a young man’s problem, but there’s no denying that a boner can be unwelcome, even in the privacy of one’s bed and bath.

The title of this little story is carefully chosen: it’s an allusion to 20th century art. Nearly a century ago, as the Modern art movement was getting underway, Dada artist Marcel Duchamp created a work he titled “Fountain”. It was a urinal, laid on its back, and marked “R.Mutt / 1917″ as if that was an artist’s signature. It was scandalous, of course, for all sorts of reasons: it was a readymade, requiring the artist to physically “create” nothing; it was “base”, and scatological; it defied the long tradition of what a proper “fountain” should be; and it was funny.

Post-modernist artist Bruce Nauman continued the gag half a century later, with a photograph he titled “Self Portrait as a Fountain”.

This … is my humble addition to the series: a comic as a fountain.

* I know, I know … but early on the show was often funny.