I could go on for hours about the social and sexual dynamics of tops/bottoms, male/female roles, and so on. But just looking at one aspect of it… gay virgins often bring along the cultural mindset that “to be fucked” is a bad thing. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gotta be demeaning or at least unpleasant. So the only reason you’d let someone fuck you is out of “fairness”, so they’ll let you fuck them.

And yeah: that just isn’t how it works.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m all for taking turns, and unless it’s something you just really dislike, doing something you aren’t really into for the sake of a partner who really likes it is part of what being a good lover involves. But there’s enjoyment to be found – physical or emotional or both – in whatever role you’re playing, and sex definitely shouldn’t be scored on a tally sheet.

Oh, and I really do like being fucked.